Boundaries

I've been doing lots of thinking the past few days, which is always a bad sign, as those thoughts lead to rambling tangents. I will try to keep it condensed, but bare with me as these pertain to numerous aspects of life. Boundaries. We all have them, and we've all broken them. Below I've listed some examples, and posted my thoughts on them; and why I think they have broken personal boundaries, or come pretty darn close!

#1. "The Announcement."
     It used to happen in this order: engagement, marriage, babies. Now throw all of that out the window. At any point in time if you (typically a 22+ y/o female,) announce you have "news," to share, people immediately shout "You're pregnant!!" From there here's how it plays out...I know because I've been there. Your response: "Uhhh no." Everyone else, "What's that?" "You're not?! Are you sure?" (Seriously, who asks that?!) "Oh. Ok." "So (long awkward pause,) what's the news?" Don't you just LOVE that? You say you aren't pregnant and just like that you've killed the interest they had in your news. Good luck getting them that excited about the purchase of your new puppy. Why don't people ask, "is it a promotion? a new job? did you buy a house? are you moving? you're getting married?" Aren't those questions far more plausible?
     In this situation I'm a firm believer in waiting for the news to be shared, rather than starting with rapid fire guesses/questions. But what really gets my wheels spinning is why do people feel that it's ok to constantly question women about whether or not they are pregnant? Or when they are having children? Or why haven't you had a child yet? This is a SUPER personal question! How would you feel if the assumed pregnant woman responded with, "when was the last time you had sex with your spouse?" Are you now uncomfortable? If your answer is yes, then the mission is accomplished. Not only is this very personal but it's highly invasive. There's a multitude of reasons why this question shouldn't be asked- and lots of those reasons are crossing many personal boundaries.
     Just for your giggles...Here are two "humorous" situations I've been in. I can assure you that during both of these situations I was not giggling. Nor was I giggling 24 hours after.
     Situation One: Person, "You seem to be glowing today, are you expecting?" My response, "Thanks, but no, I am not." All the while I can't help but think "WTF, do you mean I look dull every other day?"
     Situation Two: Person, "You look 'fuller' than the last time I saw you." Me, "Excuse me?" Person: "It's ok, you must be 3-4 months along, right?" Me: "Nope, not pregnant, just gained some weight."

#2. "That Friend."
     You know exactly who I'm talking about, it's the friend who is TOO interested, despite their adamant denials of any interest in your significant other. Whether it's a hug that lasts too long, a gaze that leaves their cheeks flushed, or just someone too physically clingy; to "that friend" I suggest you heed these words of advice: back off and check yourself. People pick up on your actions, and quite a bit can be determined from one's body language. Not only are you making yourself look like a fool, you are putting your "friend" and his/her significant other in an uncomfortable spot. The significant other wants to (at the very least,) rip your head off; your friend tries to play it down- what else are they really supposed to do; and everyone is watching you grovel for something that you can't have. Haven't you noticed that no one else has found excuse after excuse to hug or touch the person? Desperation isn't a good look on anyone.
     Being overly "touchy feely" with someone else's significant other is equivalent to playing with fire. I have no tolerance for this, nor should the person who feels as though they are being disrespected. If you are "that friend," you need to respect that YOU are not IN the relationship. I'm sure that at one point in time, you had a chance to develop your the friendship into more, but nothing happened. There's a reason for that. And a reason it's in the past. So leave it there. In the end you'll only end up ruining your friendship. You haven't just broken one boundary by being "that friend," you've broken a handful.

#3. "How Rude."
     Simply belittling or teasing someone for something they've done that doesn't pertain to any aspect of your life is wrong, and rude! Not only are you making yourself sound absurd, you are bordering on being offensive, and could be close to "crossing the line." (The line, for those of you that don't know, is an invisible boundary we've set!) Here's an example, I get a great new haircut that I am obsessed with. The next day I am told, "I don't like that hair cut, it makes you look like a child." I don't recall asking your opinion post-haircut, and I didn't ask for your opinion prior to getting my hair cut. I don't look like a child, but you are the one teasing me, because you don't like what I did to my hair? Interesting...this affects you how? Wait, it doesn't. Why be rude just because you can be? It's not going to win you a prize, it won't make you any new friends, and it certainly knocked you down a notch in my book. There's no need for it. You aren't necessarily in this case being a "boundary breaker," but in my personal opinion you are certainly pushing the limits. Be respectful of others, and as my mom told us growing up "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

     There's a lot more for me to touch upon with regards to this topic, but I'll save it for another day. Your feedback and comments are always welcomed, whether they're in agreement or complete disagreement. Have a great night everyone!

~Keep It ClaSea