Golden Globes: The Good, The Bad, and The Offenders

Award Season is upon us and I couldn’t be more thrilled. It’s like virtual ball gown shopping via celebrities. Not that I’d ever be able to afford the dresses that they’re wearing, but I’m always amazed (and stupefied,) at what some of the ladies don on the red carpet. Unfortunately, I can’t say anything about who was nominated, or be upset with the winners as I’ve seen none of the movies this year! Gasp. Doesn’t mean I can’t offer my thoughts. (Again people these are my THOUGHTS. If you don’t like them that’s great- you don’t have to! I probably wouldn’t agree with all of your thoughts. While some of my comments may not be so “polite,” I’m no where near Joan Rivers type bashing, so relax.)

Dreamy Dresses

Katharine McPhee: Holy cripes, I LOVE THIS! Her dress is by Theysken's Theory, say that 5 times fast. Clearly portraying Marilyn Monroe on “Smash” has given her ample amounts of confidence to portray the sex pot and grow out of American Idol boringness…and did she sizzle in this dress. The abundant amount of décolletage, the leg, the makeup, and the shoes…she looks smoldering; and I say it's standing ovation worthy!

Claire Danes: If all women looked like this a month after having a baby, I’m quite sure there would be MANY more babies being born. The style and cut of the Versace dress is extremely flattering on her, and the color is a bold choice. Walking the red carpet wearing a red gown is something I still have an issue with. I’m not getting over it anytime soon. Post baby looks great on her.

Julianna Margulies: From scrubs to the suits in the courtroom, she can wear anything. She wore a dark purple lace Emilio Pucci dress, which is flawless. Did you see the back?? LOVE! She always gets it “right” on the red carpet; she knows what to wear, how to wear it, and what looks gorgeous on her. I’ve loved her since ER and I still love her. Even better than the dress was the mini ER reunion with George Clooney…swoon worthy.

You Wore That To The Globes?

Amanda Seyfried: First of all, clarify how your last name is pronounced. It is said differently every time I hear it. Now to the dress, you wore Givenchy Couture, and that was pretty much it. I don’t understand the gold “barrette” at the top. There’s NO color, anywhere! I get more volume from my faux silk duponi curtains than the waves (or are those curls?) in your hair. Something with some (Inner Caitlin is screaming “ANY!”) color would have done wonders on that creamy porcelain skin. I had such high hopes but was left feeling like one of the “Les Miserables.”

Lena Dunham: Thank goodness you won, I’ll try (heavy emphasis,) to be nicer because of that. Let’s start with the good, you chose a Zac Posen dress. Now the bad…you wore Zac Posen. The color was fantastic; but the off the shoulder straps and the neckline were not flattering. If anyone is going to wear something “off the shoulder” (which no one ever should,) you better have some massive chandelier earrings or a freakin' huge multimillion dollar necklace on to pull the attention away from the "bad" area. Otherwise we’ll continue looking at “wanna-be” straps of a dress that are sinking faster than the Titanic.

I Want To Love It…But I Can’t

Jennifer Lawrence: I don’t understand the origami bra cup effect on your Dior dress. Loved everything else though, but arts and crafts projects don’t make good brassieres. 

Taylor Swift: First of all, I will never love you…ever ever everrrr! (You will find out very soon {starting with this post} that Taylor Swift is my public enemy #1.) I “like” the Donna Karan Atelier gown, especially that eggplant purple shade but, would have LOVED it on anyone else. (Perhaps Ms. Seyfried?) By the way, I suggest for the next show that you make sure it doesn’t look like you stuffed your bra. Your hair looked weird; it should have been smooth or all curled before it was pulled back. ...Why the snide face Taylor? Did you really think you were going to beat ADELE? Puhhleaseeee.

What The FLUCK?! (That’s right I censored my F bomb)

I can’t, and I won’t be nice when it comes to these four. Halle Berry, Eva Longoria, Jennifer Lopez, and Sienna Miller, I have 5 words: SHAME ON YOU!

*Halle needs a new hairdo; someone please help her ASAP! The “Something About Mary” (you know the scene with Cameron Diaz in the bathroom) hairstyle was atrocious. Ayyy…the dress, do us all a favor and burn it. It kills me to say that because it’s Versace, but I’d willingly provide the matches!

*Eva, Eva, Eva, you don’t put on a micro mini tube skirt and then drape lace around yourself. Even if it is from Pucci. It looked worse than Fredrick’s of Hollywood lingerie! (From what I’m reading online, people apparently LOVED this. I’m apparently the odd one out.)

Personal opinion: Halle and Eva would not have been in this WTF category if they were at the Grammy’s or VMA’s. They’d have fit right in, and would have been considered “boring” next to some of the freak shows at those awards.

*Jennifer Lopez, sigh. Stop with the damn sheer outfits and embellishments, they won’t win back P. Diddy or Ben Affleck; by the way, how did Casper feel about meeting your exes? I wonder if he’s old enough to know who they are… You no longer look like Jenny from the block, you look like Jenny wrapped in a doily. A Zuhair Murad doily to be exact.

Last but not least. Sienna Miller, I didn’t know that Austin Powers specialized in designing floral “outfits.” Ohh, it was Erdem. Are you SURE?! As @ProperKidProblems tweeted last week, “Money can buy you all the fashion in the world, but it can’t buy you a thread of style.”

~Keep It ClaSea